Tanzanian family

Before I came to Tanzania, I was little bit worried about living with a local family: What happens if I´m not feeling comfortable? Am I going to have an own room? What if I´m not getting own space at all? And so on. After one month living in Tanzania, I totally agree that living with a local family is the best way to settle in and get familiarized with the culture. I´ve settled in Tanzania very well and the family I´m living with has been absolutely great. Two of my sisters have become me close, and I´ve spent a lot of time with them: we´ve been hanging around and chatting a lot. They have really supported me to adapt to Tanzanian culture.

my home

I ´ve been living here over one month and learnt something about Tanzanian families. I try to tell you something which I´ve learnt this far. Try to follow the statements, it´s going to be little bit complicated but don´t worry, even the local people agree Tanzanian family descreption is hard to understand:

1. You can have many fathers and mothers. Your biological mother´s sisters are called as your mothers and your mother´s brothers are called as your uncles. So, your father´s brothers are also your fathers but your father´s sisters your aunts. It means that you can be also father or mother if you don´t even have any biological children!

2. ..Then you probably have more sisters or brothers too. Your mothers’ and fathers’ children are your siblings.

3. You can be a grand parent even though you don´t even have any biological children or your children haven´t got any children.

Is that clear enough? No.. Something more is coming:

4. If you´re a muslim man, you can have more wifes and families than one (usually two, four at most).

my bike front of the water tank

5. Well, people have usually many children.. So, when counting your mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers, it´s going to be a mathematical test!

According to the statements, I have only one mum but three dads, two sisters (instead of one) and three brothers (instead of one). And I´m also mother, can you imagine? :D It´s better not to ask, how many siblings, parents and cousins I have here! I´m probably grand mother already.

As I´ve written before, I´ve been living with baba (dad) and two sisters while the mama (mother) is still studying in Morogoro and living with my “little brother”. It has been very hard to understand how the family members can live separately and not seeing each others for a long time. And now I mean the “biological” family members. For example, when a sister of mine was studying in a secondary boarding school, she spent almost four years without seeing her parents or siblings. And in the boarding schools, using computers or mobiles (if you even have) is strictly forbidden. This means that you meet or even talk with your family members probably once or twice in a year, only during the holidays.

a friend of mine

Last Sunday, I understood that living separately is like “an every-day-life”. I just had taken a shower in the morning, went back to my room when my another sister was knocking on my door: “I´m leaving now, maybe you want to say good bye”. I was confused. Just a day before, we had been talking about what kind of things we have to do together and so on. But then she just left, because she had got a job far away from Mtwara. I had been told before that she probably gets a job soon but I didn´t know that she was moving on that day! And nobody told me that. There I was, standing like a stupid mzungu (an European) trying to find right words like “Whaat?!” “Don´t go, I´m going to miss you!” “Good luck!” “When are you coming to have a visit?”. She told me that she is not visiting Mtwara before next year. This country is huge, and without a good infrascture, it´s impossible to travel far just for a weekend (or week). So, probably we are not going to meet anymore.

Of course, I´m happy that my sister got a job and she´s starting a new life but I´m still little bit confused that she left so quickly. My another sister told me that it was quite unusual that they lived at home at the same time. She also told that she´s probably starting soon a high school in Northern Tanzania. I asked her, if she could inform me little bit earlier when she was leaving, so I could prepare myself for living without her company.

Mtwara

So my life continues here despite some people are coming, going and leaving. I´m learning all the time something new about the culture and the way of life. Actually, few days ago I got “a brother” who is visiting us for a while. Who knows how long he´s going to live with us and who is coming or leaving next. It looks like noboby knows beforehand who is coming and leaving but it’s clear that I´m having some company all the time.